The so-called “Qualities of a Good Mother”

Qualities of a good mother and wife |  How to be a good mother book

Are you at the end of your rope & feeling like this mom thing is just out of your control? You are wondering if you’re even made for this job? 

First of all – let me tell you something, Mamma – You are doing just fine. 

In this article, I’m going to talk about the “qualities of a good mother”.’

Actually – I’m going to be talking about the so-called “qualities” of a good mother. 

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Let’s face it; society has its ideal mother.

We’ll break down these qualities one by one & talk about how easy it is to break them, because honey – nobody is perfect. 

Now; I’m not saying we shouldn’t abide by these standards; we did choose to bring a child into our life – all I’m saying is that it isn’t a perfect puzzle & if you have all the pieces you win. 

I’m nowhere near perfect – but I’m doing the best I can & that’s all you need to do too! 

So, What defines a good mom? 

This question can better be answered by asking a different question. 

What defines a bad mom is a better question to ask. If you aren’t a bad mom, surely you must be a good mom. 

5 Qualities of a Bad Mom (don’t do these, in case you were wondering)

Don’t…

  1. make your child go hungry. 
  2. neglect your child. 
  3. let your anger out on your child.
  4. be a Toxic parent.
  5. abandon your child.

I’d say a good percentage (like 99%) of you reading this aren’t doing any of those things. Which pretty much means you are a kick-ass mom. 

1. Good mothers are patient. 

As a mom – we are expected to have a never ending supply of patience & some days I do. Other days, it’s just not happening. 

“Don’t scream at your child” or let them see your anger. Most days; I’ve got this – but we all have a tolerance level & I have yelled at Jolene. 

I’m reading How to stop losing your shit with your kids & trying to do better.

2. Good Moms are positive.

I’m referring to a positive parenting style  or an authoritative style. This means that a mom should be strict – set high standards, but understand when they aren’t met.

It’s very Love and Logic. 

A positive mom will set her child up for success & be there if they fail with no judgment. 

In general – this is something that I consistently can be, however it can be frustrating when it seems as if you are always cleaning up their messes. 

It’s still important to let them create the mess though.

3. Moms should be loving.

A loving mom embraces their child with hugs and kisses as much as possible. A child knows that they are loved and cared for. 

However – Sometimes; we just want to be left alone & this is okay too.

4. You must be strong.

Women are supposed to be strong. I mean – we gave birth to a 6+ pound baby. There’s no bigger strength than that, right? 

But – every now and then be vulnerable & show your weaknesses. There’s no need to always be the strong one. 

It’s okay to cry & it’s okay to hurt. 

5. Make sure you are empathetic.

Empathy is understanding or feeling the feelings of another person.

As a mom, we are told to be empathetic to our child’s needs & be there for them when they need us. 

I’m usually pretty good at this; but when I’m woken up at 2:00 in the morning because my preschooler peed in the bed – empathy stays in asleep & impatience wakes up. 

6. A good mom is nurturing.

We take care of our children. We change their diapers, clean their bodies, & feed their appetite. That’s nurturing enough. 

There’s no need to go overboard. 

7. Are you supportive?

A mother is classified as someone who is supportive & this is true.

We work hard to make sure our children have food, shelter, clothes, and school supplies to get an education. 

We support other things too. 

8. Don’t forget to be consistent.

A child strives with routines and consistency. Which means, a mom should be consistent. 

Too bad kids aren’t consistent – making it nearly impossible for a parent to be. Actually, a mom should be adaptable & inconsistent in my opinion. 

Today, Jolene had M&M’s for breakfast because I didn’t get enough sleep. Yesterday, she had pancakes because I felt like cooking.

&& Guess what? Nobody died. 

9. You must be organized and tidy.

Moms should be organized and keep their shit together. Have you seen some of the moms on TV? Everything has a place. 

I actually know moms who have it all together & that’s great for them – but I have no idea where anything is & most of the time, I buy 5 of the same thing!

The laundry is all over the place & the toys – let’s not even talk about the toys.

I’ve tried to get organized. I’ve bought these awesome storage shelves & everything. 

It’s just a lost cause & I’m okay with that. 

Qualities of a mom

10. Be brave.

A mom should be brave and show their child there’s nothing to be afraid of… 

This one makes me laugh out loud because the other day – I left Jolene outside with the giant bug that I was terrified of. Yeah; that turned out okay too. 

There’s no need to be a hero. 

11. You need to be knowledgeable.

Now this one  – as a teacher – I have to find important.

You should be knowledgeable & if you don’t know the answer find it. It is our job to help educate our kids or send them to someone who will.

I did buy this 4 weeks to Read kit && I probably pull it out once a month. It’s a great program; I’m just entirely too lazy to do it. 

She can learn on ABC Mouse, anyway. 

12. Honesty prevails. 

How honest are you with your child, Mamma? Come, on  – let’s be honest! 

I’m pretty sure my child thinks her teeth will turn black if she doesn’t brush her teeth & I never tell her she’s going to get a shot when she is. 

I want to be honest with the important things; but we all circle around the truth in many situations.

How many times have you called Santa when your child was misbehaving? Hopefully, that’s not just me.

13. A mom has to be responsible.

Oh, that big word – RESPONSIBILITY – surely, you are responsible, I mean you have a kid don’t do?

I’m responsible 85% of the time. 

Do you have a job? Pay your bills? Take care of your child? Yep, responsible. 

14. Always be kind.

It’s really important to be kind to teach your children how to be kind.

I tend to take this one more seriously than the rest.

In my opinion – as long as you are kind; the other stuff doesn’t matter.

Show your child how to treat others. Don’t talk about people badly behind their backs & respect the people around you.

The last thing that you want to do is raise a bully; it’s easy to avoid. Just be Kind, every single day. 

15. We need leaders.

Be a leader, Mamma. At least most of the time. There are times that you can let someone else lead & sit back and relax. 

Show your children that it’s okay to take a break & they don’t always have to have the answers.

Show them how to pick the right people to follow & stand up to the wrong. 

You’ll want to raise leaders. 

Good qualities of a mom

It’s pretty easy to be a good mother because just being a mother means being good at it.

You are raising a human being, and the one thing I’ve learned during this whole process is that nobody is perfect. 

& nobody has to be perfect. 

This crazy adventure of motherhood is your own & if anyone says otherwise, don’t listen. 

Ultimately, if you are asking yourself what makes a great mom; just look in the mirror & stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. 

How are you doing today, Mamma? 

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36 Comments

  1. Project whim June 17, 2020 at 12:12 pm

    Being a mom is so hard. Love this list and read some areas I need to improve in.

    1. Josephine June 17, 2020 at 4:34 pm

      Mamma, You don’t need to improve on anything! You don’t need to be perfect! You got this!

  2. Jennifer Van Haitsma June 17, 2020 at 3:23 pm

    This is so great! It’s hard to remember that we don’t have to have to all together constantly, so thanks for the reminder.

    1. Josephine June 17, 2020 at 4:34 pm

      Yes! No mom should have to be perfect!

  3. Jen Towkaniuk June 17, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    Mom comparison is real! I spent my first year or two beating myself up that I wasn’t the super-mom that some of my friends and relatives appeared to be. Then I realized that I was the kind of mom my daughter needed – ME. Today she is a beautiful, smart and very happy 20 year old, so I must have done ok. And really, ok is good enough if it’s all done with love.

    1. Josephine June 17, 2020 at 4:33 pm

      Hi Jen! Yes; we do the best we can for our children & no one has the right to say otherwise! I have a friend who posts these amazing posts on Instagram & every time a part of me thinks I could be doing better; but we have to get past that. I have a happy, healthy, sweet little girl & I couldn’t ask for any more.

  4. amelia June 18, 2020 at 1:45 am

    man i needed to hear this today!! and these are so so so true!

    1. Josephine June 18, 2020 at 3:40 am

      Thanks for stopping by Amelia! 🙂

  5. Tonya | the Writer Mom June 18, 2020 at 3:01 am

    We definitely don’t have to be perfect, we just have to do our best. ❤️

  6. Lucy June 18, 2020 at 4:48 am

    Love these! You almost had me kicked out at #1 though lol I definitely need to work on improving my patience but geez, these kids can drive you wild sometimes haha I agree that we need to show them that we’re not perfect because nobody is. It’s a learning game for us all ♥

    1. Josephine June 18, 2020 at 6:38 pm

      Yes they can! Like when they repeatedly ask the SAME question that you just said NO to!! Ugh!!

  7. Beth June 18, 2020 at 10:31 am

    What a wonderful (and very accurate!) list! I definitely have some areas where I need to give myself a little more grace and some where I need to improve!

    1. Josephine June 18, 2020 at 6:37 pm

      We are just doing our best & that’s enough Mamma!

  8. Taylor Minaberry June 18, 2020 at 11:30 am

    I love this list! What a great reminder to let go of the perfection mentality. I could definitely work on my patience some days though!

    1. Josephine June 18, 2020 at 6:37 pm

      Haha! Oh, me too girl, me too!

  9. Sara June 18, 2020 at 12:01 pm

    Deep down I know I’m a good mom, but in the day to day I still struggle with wondering if I’m doing everything right. All moms just want their kids to have the best life possible.

    1. Josephine June 18, 2020 at 6:36 pm

      You don’t need to worry about doing everything right. What you do for your babies, Mamma, is the right thing. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing! 🙂

  10. caressa walker June 18, 2020 at 2:45 pm

    I love that you took the time to really debunk the myths of what it truly takes to be a good mother. The need to be perfect is literally one of the most exhausting things ever. And it feels great to know that as moms we are not alone in this.

    1. Josephine June 18, 2020 at 6:35 pm

      Thank You! Yes. Nobody needs to be perfect!

  11. Jen @ Jen Bradley | MOMS June 18, 2020 at 3:20 pm

    This is a great list of mom qualities to work on! I feel these are often learned a little at a time – here a little and there a little – with failures and triumphs on the way.

    1. Josephine June 18, 2020 at 6:34 pm

      Oh for sure & they never have to be done perfectly!

  12. Steph June 18, 2020 at 7:13 pm

    Absolutely! Being a mom is tough, and societal expectations don’t make it any easier! Teaching love and kindness and the rest will follow. Thanks for the reminder to just breathe and embrace the ride!

    1. Josephine June 19, 2020 at 1:49 am

      Hi Steph! Yes love and kindness will always win in the end!

  13. Hayley June 18, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    This is such a great post for moms who don’t think they’re good enough. There’s definitely no such thing as a perfect mom.

    1. Josephine June 19, 2020 at 1:49 am

      So True Hayley! We are all just doing our best & that’s good enough!

  14. Monica June 19, 2020 at 2:11 am

    When my daughter told me I give her confidence I thought to myself that wow I must be doing something right after all! I definitely felt like a good mom after that.

  15. Mamie June 19, 2020 at 2:13 am

    Consistency is so important. We can make changes but it’s important we stay consistent in our choices.

  16. Cyndi Buchanan June 19, 2020 at 2:38 pm

    This is so sweet! Moms really need to cut themselves some slack.

  17. Elizabeth June 19, 2020 at 3:25 pm

    This blog was on point! I find myself struggling as a Twin mom! Asking myself if I’m doing enough. Thanks for sharing

  18. Playful Kale June 20, 2020 at 2:47 pm

    This is great! I have definitley learned to be more patient after becoming a mom and try to be more positive around my kids. They copy their parents so being a good role model is so important!

  19. Jessica Wooten June 24, 2020 at 1:36 am

    Ohh such a good list. I need to work on areas myself but learning everyday

  20. Terryn June 25, 2020 at 2:37 pm

    Such a needed and beautiful perspective. We need to build each other up more during our journey of motherhood.

    1. Josephine June 26, 2020 at 4:24 am

      Hi Terryn! I am so with you! I see no need to judge other Mammas or make them feel bad about themselves. We should be there for each other every step of the way!

  21. Aliya June 25, 2020 at 3:34 pm

    Omgness, I love this! Being a mom is so hard and I think our older generation or people with no kids forgot the challenges we face everyday. No one should ever fix there lips to say someone is a bad mother. People don’t know what that mother or family faces on a daily basis. I love this list. I’m definitely going to be sharing.

    1. Josephine June 26, 2020 at 4:24 am

      So True Aliya!

      Thank You!

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